


Tipsy Liabilities

by VivaciousReadersLove



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Best Friends, Drinking, Friendship, Gen, Humor, Pokemon Battle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-09-29 15:58:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17206424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VivaciousReadersLove/pseuds/VivaciousReadersLove
Summary: "The Masked Royal is great. He could lift me quite easily."There was a good reason why he left it at that.Inspired from art by gomooink





	1. Chapter 1

As Kukui walked in the Dimensional Research Lab, several scientists did some combination of smiling, nodding, or waving. However, for once in his life, he didn’t holler ‘alola’ back. Instead, he settled for returning the gestures in silence or in a whisper of, “hey cousin,” because he had a surprise for Burnet that he couldn’t bring himself to postpone any longer.

Sure, he should’ve told Burnet he was headed over, but she was on lunch break. There were never any consequences whenever he joined her at this time, apart from everyone listening in to their conversation for the latest gossip. Besides, if he wanted anything to be a surprise, it was this.  

“Honey!” Kukui hollered as he walked into her office.

“Hey,” Burnet did a double take from her desk, “I didn’t get a text that you were coming, not that I’m complaining.”

He grinned, leaning on her desk, “I wanted to surprise you.”

“Surprise me?”

“Yeah! Wanna take a guess?”

“Hmmmm,” she looked up for a moment before meeting his eyes again, smirking, “Dinner date by the shore?”

“Nope,” he pulled out three tickets from his lab coat, “But I sure hope these will do.”

Burnet carefully took the tickets from his hands, inspecting them with the same care as research papers. Once it clicked, she carefully placed the tickets on her desk, bolted out of her seat, and crushed him in a hug as she said something that turned to indistinguishable squeals.

“Oh my,” she took a deep breath, “This is _almost_ better than a dinner date by the shore.”

He let himself kiss her, “Almost?”

“You know, if I had to choose between a date with you or front row seats to see the Masked Royal in action, I’d choose you.”

“Woo! I knew I was cooler than him!”

She laughed, rising on her toes for another soft kiss, “Since I’m on lunch break, would you like to help me decide who to invite? Actually, let me call Olivia first. I know she’d love to go.”

Kukui nodded, running a hand through her hair before stepping back to the countertop behind him, leaning on it. He watched her rummage through her purse for a minute before taking out her phone, excitedly dialing Olivia’s number.

“Hi Olivia…please, I’m not slacking off at work, I’m on break. Anyway, I wanted to see if you wanted to come to the monthly special at the Battle Royal Dome. I got front row tickets thanks to a certain special someone,” she winked at Kukui while waiting for a response, “Really? Thanks, you’re the best! We can flesh out the details once I get one more person to come…I’ll see you around too. Bye!”.

After a moment (and ignoring a blush from Burnet’s wink), Kukui asked, “So, who’s invite number two?”

“Uh…I don’t know. It has to be someone over twenty-one and okay with my fangirling.”

“Molayne?” of course his best friend popped into his head, “He’s also friends with Olivia.”

Burnet pursed her lips bashfully, “Do you think he’ll be okay with my fangirling?”

“I can make him.”

She giggled, “You’re the worst best friend ever. Also the best husband.”

Once again, she dialed a number, doing a mini dance in place as she waited for Molayne to pick up.

“Hi Molayne! Are you busy? Great! I was wondering if you wanted to go to the monthly special at the Battle Royal Dome…oh please, we aren’t planning to get drunk…a date? You know Kukui would’ve told everyone in Alola.

“Kukui!”

There was his cue. He took the phone from Burnet, changing his demeanor.

“Hey there, cousin! Heard you didn’t want to go with Burnet to the monthly special.”

He could see Molayne from the other side of the line relaxing in his chair, ready to partake in the battle of terrible wits.

“I never said I didn’t want to go. Besides, why don’t _you_ go?”

_Of course he’d say that,_ “You know I’d get jealous watching Burnet fangirl over the Masked Royal.”

“Oh really? I didn’t know narcissism was a molecule you built yourself with.”

_Damn him. Molayne better see his eye roll from Akala Island._

“All right, all right, what about this, yeah, you know that date thing you were trying to pull with Burnet? How about I set you up with someone?”

“Oh Arceus please don’t – “

_Got him._

“I think I know a – “

“Fine!” Molayne exclaimed at the phone, “I’ll go. Tell Burnet to send me the details. I don’t need you sending me on another blind date.”

Kukui let out a hearty laugh, “Woo! I knew I could count on you cousin. Take care.”

“You too, buddy.”

They hung up, and before Kukui could give Burnet her phone back, he took a moment to unravel the sight before him. Her head was on the desk, body shaking violently, letting out a few squeaks of what seemed to be laughter. An unfortunate scientist came in, awkwardly chuckling as Kukui settled to put the phone at the edge of the desk. Somehow, she noticed the scientist, accepting the folder of papers with shaky hands, mouthing ‘thanks’ as the scientist sped back out.

“What’s so funny?”

She turned to him, wiping away tears and calming herself with a few breaths, “You two get so theatrical on the phone. What’s up with the blind dates?”

“Yeah, the blind date is my go-to blackmail strategy. I make sure to set him up on bad ones.”

Burnet stood up from her desk, sliding her phone to her computer before moving towards him for one more kiss.

“Well, I gotta finish up lunch before my break is over. I’ll see you tonight?”

_Well damn. He wasn’t going to stop falling for Burnet’s soft and lovely expressions any time soon, now, was he?_

“Always.”

 

Molayne was many things, an engineer, astrologist, the head of an observatory, but he was also a Pokémon Trainer (as if most people didn’t know already). As a Pokémon Trainer, he had the utmost pleasure of using Ride Pokémon to help him make a quick journey over to Akala Island.

Whether he would be able to use one (legally) by the end of the night or not, fate would decide, but in the meantime, he would be staying at Olivia’s place, just in case.

The walk from the Pokémon Center to the Dimensional Research Lab wasn’t terrible. There were more adults out and about than usual, probably for the same reason he was. At least he didn’t have to be paranoid of sudden noises when there was no one out.

When he saw the entrance to the lab, he saw Olivia wildly waving at him, running just outside the entrance to holler at him.

“A-lo-la! Look at you, Molayne! Finally decided to get your butt out of your house or job and into the land of the living!”

He hollered back, “Well, well, you seem to be mistaken. I do have a life outside of work and binge-watching anime.”

Olivia let him get inside before continuing their conversation, “And what may that ‘life’ be?”

“I go to bars and socialize.”

“And come back empty-handed.”

“Of course, just like you.”

She screeched, “Urgh! You live too close to Nanu! I think some of his…bitterness? Whatever. I think it’s rubbing off on you.”

“I don’t see him unless I’m grocery shopping. Even then, he likes to be left alone with the four Meowth and Persian that follow him.”

“Sounds like Nanu to me. Anyway,” she turned to Burnet, “Girl! What’s taking you a hot minute? Didn’t work end a few hours ago?”

“I know, sorry, just finishing up an email here. I’m almost done, I promise,” Burnet’s mouse clicked exponentially faster.

Olivia gave a sympathetic smile, “No rush, I know that stuff is important.”

Within a couple minutes, Burnet finished up the email while Olivia and Molayne continued their small talk. After a bit of scrambling, she was finally ready, leading the other two out of the lab.

“So,” Burnet looked at Molayne, “We’re going to head off to Olivia’s place first to put our stuff down as we planned, but I’m sorry if I take a minute because I’m going to change out of my work clothes. As comfy as it is, I don’t want to be in it forever.”

He smiled, “Sounds good.”

Once they made it to Olivia’s store, they walked up the stairs to her home. It looked the same as he remembered, clean and tidy and filled with Stufful toys along the wall. The only difference was that she pushed the sofa back, perhaps to give them room to sleep later.

Molayne put his bag next to the sofa, Burnet doing the same on the other side, taking out her spare clothes in the process before heading to the bathroom.

 “So,” Olivia started, “Are you sure you want to wear the tie? You look a bit formal.”

He looked down at his outfit. It wasn’t out of the ordinary, for him at least. A light blue, short sleeved button up, brown pants, dark blue sweater, and his favorite, never-the-leave-the-house-without-it bolo tie was probably the most ‘Molayne’ thing he could wear.

“I feel weird without it on, but I’ll leave my sweater here.”

“Fair enough.”

Burnet walked out the bathroom with a newly found pep in her step. She was wearing skinny jeans, a Battle Royal T-shirt, red converse, and a Masked Royal hat. He tried chuckling to himself, but who could hide behind Olivia (especially if she’s right there)? She smacked his shoulder as a miniature scold.

“You look good! Ignore Molayne who can’t appreciate _de-di-cation_. Everyone ready?”

“Yes! Tickets are right here, and…” Burnet looked down at her fidgeting fingers, “before I forget, forgive my excessive fangirling.

Immediately, as good, agreeable friends, they assured her that excessive fangirling was accepted (don’t get Molayne and Olivia started on manga or anime). When the trio finally left Olivia’s place, they decided to take a Ride Tauros over to the Battle Royal Dome.

 

Getting inside wasn’t much of a hassle. The concession stands? Even less of a hassle once they squeezed through the merch line. Paying for three Mai Tai’s? That earned Molayne a lovely smack on the shoulder from Olivia.

“You can pay for the next round,” she assured him with a grin, passing him his drink before heading off to their seats.

Their seats were between the green and yellow corner, one end at the isle. He let Olivia and Burnet go in first, settling into their seats before the match started. As Olivia and Burnet played catch-up, Molayne stared off onto the array of screens changing advertisements periodically.

Suddenly, the music came to a halt, stopping Olivia and Burnet’s conversation. An oh-so-familiar Battle Royal Dome music started.

“Welcome to the Battle Royal Dome! For this monthly special, we have some _special_ guests ready to commentate LIVE during intermission! It is the one and only Myra and Philip from The PokéRundown – Your one-stop source for celebrity news!

Burnet turned to Olivia, “PokéRundown?”

“My guilty pleasure! I’ll remind you later, but chances are, we’re probably going to get stopped by them.”

“Why?” Molayne asked.

Olivia looked at the main screen, “I’m a kahuna…Burnet’s a professor. Maybe we’ll make it past them if the trainers keep them occupied.”

Burnet and Molayne hummed in agreement, sipping generously on their Mai Tai.

Right on cue, music blared from the speakers, bass vibrating right through their bodies, screams pierced their ears, and chaos erupted. Somewhere in the midst, the host welcomed the crowd to the special before announcing the trainers.

“Coming in from Charizard is Fiesty Rose! Better watch her thorns cause she doesn’t play nice!”

Fiesty Rose managed to simultaneously stomp and runway walk to her position, showing off her black two-piece, complete with white lining and spikes. A sultry kick drew the crowd’s attention to a gorgeous thigh tattoo of a rose ( _‘Go figure,’ Molayne thought)_ before she stomped it back to the ground as a statement.

“Is Fiesty Rose trying to scare everyone already? We’ll see, but now coming in from Haxorus is Molly Coconuts! She’s peppy as ever but beware of her mean streak!”

Molly Coconuts was clearly unaffected by Fiesty Rose’s display of power as she skipped out of the corner with a blinding smile. Like Fiesty Rose, she was wearing a two-piece, except it was yellow with brown accents. However, she made note to show off her shorts with the word ‘coconut’ written out on the butt ( _‘Oh so that’s where those shorts come from,’ Molayne thought)_ by spinning and twerking for approximately five seconds before jumping into a hands-on-hips stance.

“Molly clearly doesn’t care for the drama! Next, from the Gyarados is the Masked Royal, classy and ready as ever! It sure looks like he isn’t here to play around this time either!”

Burnet screamed.

Olivia and Molayne jumped and snapped their heads to her direction, taking a quick breather and note that yes, Burnet has solid pair of lungs and projection training.

They missed part of Masked Royal’s entrance, but his entrance was never as elaborate as others. He was standing in his usual gear and pose, earning a knowing chuckle from Molayne.

“Last, but not least, we have the newly promoted Rocky Potato! Will his humor help him out here? We won’t know until the end of tonight!”

Rocky Potato literally wobbled into the ring wearing a full potato suit. Once in his spot, he fell flat, and the audience burst out laughing. Even the other trainers broke character, laughing along as Rocky Potato hopped back up. Suddenly, he unzipped the potato suit, revealing himself dressed in fitted brown capris and a potato hat. A quick three second dance later, he wiped invisible dust off his pants and stood casually.

The host commented on Rocky Potato one last time before going over the rules before the battle started. Immediately, Burnet tapped Olivia and Molayne’s arm.

“All right, so I know Fiesty Rose has a Gardevoir, Charizard, and Lycanroc. Even though Gardevoir is her strongest, she usually starts out with Charizard.

“Molly Coconuts has a Misimagius, Meganium, and Steelix. If anything, she’s bringing out her Steelix first. As long as anyone hits Steelix with a special type move, it will go down. Still, she has her Meganium with solid physical and special defenses, so she’ll take it out next.

“I don’t know much about Rocky Potato other than he has an Alolan Dugtrio…anyway Masked Royal has a Ninetails with the ability Snow Cloak and the moves Ice Beam, Moonblast, Nasty Plot, and Protect. He also has a Magnezone with the ability Sturdy and the moves Flash Canon, Thunderbolt, Volt Switch, and Discharge. Finally, he has a Braviary with the ability Sheer Force and the moves Brave Bird, Rockslide, Superpower, and Protect. I think he’s starting out with Magnezone to take out that Steelix…”

Olivia’s jaw fell to the ground, “Daaaaaaamn girl. How did you figure out abilities?”

Burnet slumped, “I-I-I uhhh, I watch a lot of battles.”

“Does making and testing hypotheses of Masked Royal’s pokémon’s move set and abilities sound better?” Molayne offered.

“Yes!” Burnet squealed.

“Nerds.”

Burnet and Molayne faux glared at Olivia who smirked and shrugged as the battle started.

As Burnet predicted, Fiesty Rose sent out her Charizard, Molly Coconuts with Steelix, Rocky Potato with Dugtrio, and Masked Royal with Magnezone. After a minute of letting the trainers decide what moves to start with, the referee shouted at the trainers to start.

Dugtrio moved first, using Sucker Punch on Charizard. Then, Charizard let out a Flamethrower right onto Steelix, who lived only because of Sturdy. Magnezone finished Charizard’s job by using Flash Cannon.

Molly Coconuts gave a pointed glare at Masked Royal and Fiesty Rose while she put her Steelix back in its Pokéball. Masked Royal returned the glare with nonchalance while Fiesty Rose flipped her hair to the side with a smirk.

The referee jumped in, making sure Molly Coconuts had her minute to choose her next pokémon. During the minute, Molayne got himself and the ladies malasadas to chew their nerves away.

Once Molly Coconuts gave the referee a nod, he jumped out, letting her send out Meganium. Dugtrio moved first, using Sucker Punch a second time to Charizard, bringing it to the ground. The crowd let out a sigh of relief alongside Fiesty Rose when Charizard stood back up, roaring a Flamethrower right at Magnezone. As Magnezone shook itself off (shock evident in Masked Royal’s face), Meganium landed a critical Petal Dance on Dugtrio, knocking it out. Magnezone finally moved, finishing off Charizard with Thunderbolt.

The referee jumped in once again, setting his timer for another minute.

“Hey! I got more Mai Tais!” Molayne yelled as he handed Olivia and Burnet their drinks.

Burnet downed her drink, desperately mumbling a recap of the last round, emphasizing how Magnezone should’ve been knocked out. Olivia slowly took Burnet’s empty drink off her hands, replacing it with her leftover malasada.

Rocky Potato and Fiesty Rose sent out their pokémon, Alolan Raichu and Lycanroc respectively. Molly Coconuts mouthed ‘you’re going down’ all motioned with her middle finger. The crowd erupted in gasps, some cheering for Fiesty Rose to say something back, but the referee yelled at them to get a move on.

Lycanroc easily knocked out Raichu with Crunch, making Rocky Potato Flinch. Meganium swerved in to hit Lycanroc with Petal Dance, knocking it out as Fiesty Rose cursed loudly at Molly Coconuts. While Molly Coconuts was distracted, Magnezone landed a critical Flash Cannon on her Meganium.

Rocky Potato mouthed a compliment to Masked Royal, who only gave a chuckle while the ladies were still cursing at one another.

Molayne felt Burnet’s hand dig down his forearm, “You okay?”

“Yeah…Rose looks like she’s gonna break Coconuts’ neck. I can’t wait until they fight after intermission. Okay are these drinks…never mind.”

Olivia threw her money at Molayne to get more Mai Tais. There went his plan for not going past tipsy.

Immediately, Mimikyu knocked out Gardevoir with Shadow Claw. Meganium tried to land a critical Petal Dance on Mimikyu, but only did normal damage and became confused. Magnezone finished Meganium’s job by using Flash Cannon.

“FIESTY ROSE AND ROCKY POTATO ARE OUT OF POKEMON! TRAINERS! PUT YOUR POKEMON BACK IN ITS POKEBALL!”

Masked Royal and Molly Coconuts immediately did as they were told, satisfied with themselves while the crowd cheered. The referee went to the other judges to double check on scores before sending it off to the announcer.

“Aaaaaaaand now time for the placement and scores! Sharing third place, we have Fiesty Rose and Rocky Potato, each with 1 point! In second place we have Molly Coconuts with 4 points! Finally, we have Masked Royal in first place with a grand total of 6 points!

“After intermission, we’ll get down and dirty with some wrestling. We’ll see how Fiesty Rose dukes it out with Molly Coconuts and how the Masked Royal handles Chief Pain!”

Intermission wasn’t an event in the Royal Dome. It consisted of workers cleaning up the ring, but it gave everyone time to head to the bathroom and grab more food and drinks. For Molayne and Olivia, this meant shoving their money at Burnet to buy more drinks.

Olivia moved next to Molayne, “Enjoying yourself?”

“More than I imagined.”

“Better than a blind date set up by Kukui?”

“He told you?” news sure moved faster than he remembered, “Oh, Tapu Bulu save me.”

She laughed, “Actually, Burnet told me. Said you were hesitant to come until Kukui pulled that on you. She also said it was the talk of the lab for the rest of the day.”

Molayne didn’t bother hiding his eye roll, “I should get an award for being the most-gossiped scientist. I’ll dedicate it to Kukui too while I’m at it.”

“Shots!” Burnet popped in from nowhere with three plastic shot glasses in her hands, “They were half off.”

Olivia pointedly glanced between the two as she slowly moved back to her seat, “You can hold your alcohol, right?”

“Yes,” they said simultaneously.

In three, the trio downed their shot of vodka. It’s smooth and strong and enough to shock Molayne and Burnet to the same realization – they’re a bit past tipsy. Olivia, on the other hand, was fine, stacking the three plastic cups together, passing them to an employee. Fortunately, an oh-so-familiar voice rang through the speakers, snapping their heads to the main screen.

“HEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLO LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! It’s me Philip from The PokéRundown with my co-host Myra! Would you take a guess on what we managed to pull off?”

“We won’t be able to hear them Philip! Let’s just tell them what we convinced the Masked Royal to do!”

“That’s right,” Philip took a preparatory breath, “We convinced him to carry a member of the audience and let them kiss his cheek!”

“You heard that right! I’ll be out with him in one moment! Let me just-” Myra face planted, earning sympathetic groans, “Let me just get down to the stage!”

Olivia and Molayne turned to a frozen-in-place Burnet. They locked eyes, nodding once in determination.

“Burnet,” Olivia took her hand, “You have to!”

“I-I-I can’t…”

_I know she’ll know the moment she gets on him_ , “Come on! You can’t let this opportunity pass!”

“But-”

“But _what_ , girl?”

Burnet took a shaky breath, “I don’t want to kiss anyone on the cheek but Kukui! I can’t – I can’t do that to him. He’d be…I’d be…I don’t know.”

_Oh for the love of Arceus_ , “He won’t care! I’ve known him since we were in the womb! He. Doesn’t. Care. He’ll even be happy for you! You know that!”

Molayne didn’t mean to scream at Burnet, even though all he could hear were screams, but Olivia patted her shoulder as she implemented her impromptu emergency plan.

“HEY! MASKED ROYAL! IT’S ME! THE KAHUNA OF THIS ISLAND! KAHUNA OLIVIA!”

As the Masked Royal made his way towards them (complimented with over-the-top commentary from Myra and Philip), Molayne turned Burnet to him.

“Okay! What do you like about Royal? Uh…he has solid muscle, a nice tan, a smile more dazzling than…whatever that move combination is called, likes Pokémon – “

Burnet turned and stared blankly at the Masked Royal, who was listening to Olivia, turning back to Molayne with words stuck in his throat. Molayne expected many things, but he didn’t expect _this._

“HE THINKS YOUR HOT!”

It happened in slow motion. He couldn’t even muster a ‘what’ before he felt Burnet literally grab him by the belt and top of his shirt and throw him into the unknown depths, just to be safely caught in the Masked Royal’s familiar, muscular arms.

With screams from the crowd filling his ears with nothing but chaos, he looked up, too dazed from the alcohol, just to see his best friend looking back with the same gaze he always looks at him with.

“Well, well, I guess this is how it goes, my masked friend.”

Kukui wasted no time in spinning him around, running to the ring, doing some tricks he probably shouldn’t trust him with. Any other day, it would have scared the daylights out of him, but for now, he was well past tipsy and living in the moment. Besides, who else gets to say their best friend’s wife threw them onto their celebrity crush who is their best friend just because the wife couldn’t kiss her celebrity crush who is, once again, his best friend and her husband.

_Oh wait. That’s his ‘super-secret’ persona._

Molayne didn’t have time to settle on the thought before Kukui lifted him up and above his head with ease. New fact – Kukui is strong. Regardless, he could hear Myra and Philip screaming like the apocalypse was happening, see Olivia dying from laughter, and see Burnet crying from joy as she gripped the railing with her life. With a smile, he gave them a thumbs up.

Kukui gave him a small lift in the air before catching him back in his arms, giving Molayne a small spark of confidence.

It was all he needed as he reached his arm over to the other side of Kukui’s head, pulling him into a kiss on the cheek. It was quick, too quick, but his heart leaped out of his chest. They made eye contact for a fraction of a second too long, and the look in Kukui’s eyes was enough for Molayne to know that without the mask, he would have seen him blush.

That satisfied him more than it should.

“Mind bringing me back to my friends?”

“Not at all! The white-haired one seems strong and feisty! I like her!”

“You don’t say…”

“Think they can carry you up?”

He looked straight at Masked Royal and back at his friends, “I, uh, maybe?”

There was no reason why they couldn’t let him go through another route to the seats. Either way, with the power of Masked Royal and Burnet’s (newly discovered but not surprising) muscle, Molayne makes it over the railing. Upon regaining his balance, Burnet crushed him into a sobbing, messy, hug.

“Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you,” she muttered between shallow breaths.

He laughed softly, returning her hug, “You kind of threw me down there, but I accept your gratitude.

She jumped off of him, “You have to tell me how it was later! Everything! Please!”

“I will, I will…”

The trio sat down and took a breather to process everything that just happened. Molayne completely tuned out whatever Myra and Philip were saying, trying to get into some semblance of normalcy. Feet? Check. Hands? Check. Head completely spinning not from alcohol? Check?

“You okay there guys?” Olivia moved to face her friends in a squat.

“Yeah, I think. I just need a shock from Sevenjabug,” Molayne said as Burnet nodded.

Olivia raised a brow, “Sevenjabug? Should’ve known you two were lightweights!”

She ended up ordering malasadas and water for the two, handing it to them without a scene, patting their heads along the way. They ate it slowly, remembering exactly how to chew for maximum flavor output. The announcer shocked them from their intense focus, but if Molayne was honest, the next hour passed by like a blur.

He knew that he went through the motions of cheering and screaming like everyone else. He remembered Molly Coconuts being absolutely and thoroughly destroyed by Fiesty Rose, who held her champion belt with pride. He remembered Burnet saying it was hot and Olivia fully agreeing. Surely, there was nothing like Fiesty Rose holding her own with raw power. What he didn’t remember, was how it all happened.

The next battle was the exhibition battle between Masked Royal and Chief Pain. Chief Pain was said to be more memorable, but Molayne couldn’t catch anything except that he almost won against Masked Royal. His mind was still on repeat from intermission, but he managed to organize his thoughts into the following:

  * He still has control but is well past tipsy (aka drunk)
  * He needs to stop thinking about muscles
  * The Masked Royal is hot
  * The Masked Royal is Kukui
  * Kukui is his best friend
  * Kukui is married to Burnet
  * What the hell is wrong with him
  * Oh, he made Kukui blush, so that’s great
  * How has he not slipped Kukui’s secret? Arceus knows.




	2. Chapter 2

Olivia was prepared to do three things: hold Burnet’s hand while she fangirled, flick Molayne when he used his ounce of sass, and have one hell of a good time. What she wasn’t prepared for was to be the designated mom friend. That was Burnet’s job.

They were quietly situated away from the entrance with Molayne and Burnet’s back to the wall, leaning and sitting down respectively. Olivia was facing them, hands on hips, assessing their state based on her impromptu, unreliable, and biased scale.

From a scale of one (epitome of professionalism) to ten (epitome of disaster), Burnet was a solid five. She sat cross-legged on the floor, eyes closed, unaware of the world around her as she hyper focused on her breathing. It would’ve been a four if she wasn’t muttering ‘malasada’ under her breath like a mantra.

On the other hand, Molayne was a six – only because he wasn’t moving. He was far too invested in his empty water cup, as if it would give him the answers to the universe. Normal Molayne (from her totally unbiased experiences) is human. This Molayne, she noted, was not one she wanted to know, especially when combined with his blank expression.

“There’s no way we can use Ride Pokémon like this,” Olivia broke the silence, “We’ll have to walk. Are you two up for that?”

The two hummed in affirmative.

_How lovely. They totally heard me._

“Since the PokéRundown is here, we’ll have to keep ourselves on the down low or else they’re gonna bombard us.”

“Bombard us?” Burnet’s eyes widened, “Why would they do that?”

_That got her attention_ , “They’re the source for celebrity trainer news. I’m a kahuna, you’re a professor, which is still in their field of interest, and Molayne…just kissed the Masked Royal on the cheek not too long ago.”

Molayne finally raised his head, “So we’re prime material?”

“Yes.”

“Then we’ve gotta go now,” Burnet quickly jumped up, wobbling for a second, “There’s no way we can go between dimensions using the Ultra Wormhole to avoid them.”

Olivia laughed, “You know, you’re my favorite, nerdy, smart-as-hell friend, right?”

“Is it because I’m tipsy?”

“No, well,” Olivia instantly grabbed Molayne’s arm to keep him from falling over, “You somehow manage to break through your tipsiness in order to talk about Ultra Wormholes.”

As soon as the tipsy two were up and ready, according to Olivia’s standards, they started quietly walking through the streets. A part of her felt assured that they were able to make it to her home once she noticed they were aware of their surroundings.

The other part brought dread.

There was a relatively low chance that they wouldn’t be caught by the PokéRundown crew – and that was if she was being generous. If she knew anything, it was their reputation of finding anyone they set their sights on. They would find them out of nowhere like prey, catching them in their net of flashy cameras and screams before subjecting them to a plethora of questions she didn’t want to think about.

If all else failed, she could politely decline the interview, albeit it would turn very ugly, very fast. There would be a new episode in two days, dedicated to her and all her misgivings and failures. Then she would be forever cursed because every time she would _actually_ get a date, it would end in failure because that episode is all they would think about, which means she’ll never get a man to call ‘hubby’ and five cute kids running around the house, which means she would have to compensate by getting more toy Stuffuls, and then she would get tired of said toy Stuffuls and get real ones instead, and then she would really be an old single lady who has forty Stuffuls running around.

_Basically,_ Olivia thought, _I’d be Nanu, but with Stuffuls instead of Meowths._

Before she could settle on ‘end-of-world’ thoughts, the oh-so-familiar chaotic sounds of the PokéRundown running down the street snapped her back into reality.

“Kahuna Olivia! Professor Burnet! And…uh…”

“BLONDIE!”

“Yeah Blondie! I’m Philip and this is Myra from the PokéRundown and please don’t run away just yet!”

“We have questions!”

The three froze midstride. Burnet and Molayne turned to Olivia, who stepped in front of them.

“I’ll answer the questions. Got it?”

They smiled and nodded in agreement before turning to face them in full Alolan charm.

“I can answer a couple of questions,” Olivia stepped towards the hosts.

Philip grinned, turning to the camera, “Great! Kahuna Olivia, Professor Burnet, and Blondie just agreed to answer a few questions! We know it’s late at night, so we have to make this quick! Can. We. Do it!?”

_They didn’t listen to a word I said._ It was too late, but the determination to make the best of it coursed through her veins.

“Kahuna Olivia,” Myra slid towards her, “What was your original plan when getting the Masked Royal over to you?”

She laughed, “At first it was to get him to carry Burnet. She’s a huge fan of his.”

“Saaaaaame Professor, saaaaaaame! He’s so hot. Are all the guys in Alola this attractive?”

“Of course! However, I’m pretty biased since I’ve been here all my life. I’m sure you can find a lovely girl while you’re here,” Olivia nodded at Philip who turned red.

“That’s if we get through all the interviews,” Olivia’s heart dropped as he moved to Burnet, “Now, Professor Burnet, why didn’t you jump on him when you got the chance?”

She didn’t hesitate, “I would’ve, but I didn’t want to kiss his cheek. I don’t want to kiss anyone anywhere unless it’s Kukui since he’s my husband and all.”

Myra and Philip simultaneously snapped their heads to each other and slapped their hands to their hearts as if they just saw a Rockruff try to carry a stick that was too big for it. Any other day, Olivia would’ve laughed at the ridiculousness of their expressions, but for now, she had to maintain her reputation.

Myra turned to the camera crew, “Guys. Look at this. Goals. Professor Burnet is _the_ loyal wife ‘til the end!”

“Major respect Professor,” Philip chimed, “There’s no way I would’ve been able to do that.”

“Professor Kukui better have the same respect – or else we’re coming after him in the name of Professor Burnet!”

_Shit._ Olivia put her arm in front of Burnet as soon as she saw her expression turn from neutral to mildly amusing panic. The last thing she needed was a catfight between Burnet and Myra (as if Burnet was in any real danger).

Still, it didn’t stop her from defending Kukui, “No! Kukui is the best I could’ve ever asked for! He treats me like…a scientist queen!”

The hosts were still smiling, taking her outburst as sweet loyalty rather than a weak, underlying threat to punch anyone who dared come at him.

“I’m going to die of cuteness. What about you Myra?”

Myra laughed, “I’d die, but I want to ask Mr. Lucky Blond, how was it like to kiss the Masked Royal’s cheek?”

After a moment of awkward silence, Olivia leaned back, maneuvering her arm behind Burnet to give Molayne’s arm a couple of taps.

“Oh,” he smiled, “It was lovely. I could feel the perfect combination of wool, polyester, and cotton against my lips as my heart took a leap and exploded with the power of a supernova.”

…

…

…

_‘Ohhh-kay,’_ Olivia felt herself mouth to the universe. In the silence, her eyes drifted to Burnet who held her hand over her mouth, eyes wide, then to Myra and Philip who let their jaws drop to the floor in genuine shock, and then to the camera crew who stood silently still.

She dared move her eyes over to Molayne, only to meet his. He tilted his head like his Sandshrew, giving her his usual soft smile.

Philip finally managed to speak, “We certainly witnessed something here in the PokéRundown today…”

“We should totally hook Mr. Blondie up with the Masked Royal!”

_Oh fuck no, not today, not tomorrow, perhaps during the apocalypse, but certainly not today._

Immediately, Olivia grabbed Burnet and Molayne’s arm, and sped towards her house, “We’d love to continue chatting, but we really have get going before Kukui wonders where we are!”

While they sped off, she could hear Myra and Philip holler their thanks for their time and some other miscellaneous comments that was probably supposed to feed their ego, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. When their chaotic sounds started fading in the opposite direction, she let go of her friends’ arms, slowed down her pace, and let out a sigh of relief. No drunk spoken casualties or injuries was a win in her book no matter which way she wrote it.

However, once they got inside, there was a whole battle called ‘stairs’. Burnet was utterly convinced that they weren’t stable, and it took a grand total of ten minutes plus hand holding to assure her that no, the stairs aren’t wobbly, she was just drunk. Molayne, on the other hand, wanted to crawl up the stairs with Olivia so people (from Arceus knows where) wouldn’t gawk at him like some weirdo.

When they were finally inside her apartment, she guided them to the couch, turning the television on to the PokéRundown _LIVE_ just because. Perhaps they’d run into Kukui while they were at it. She did slip that he was in the area. At least he never had an issue handling the media.

Regardless, she dragged a futon and two bedding sets towards her bed. Burnet and Kukui would sleep in the sofa bed and Molayne would sleep in the futon parallel to her bed. Olivia would take her bed, obviously, but it felt sweeter this time because damn it, she deserved it after all the trouble she went through. There could be nothing done about the sofa bed until Kukui came around, but she was satisfied with the outcome.

“All done,” Olivia swept off the dust from her hands, “you guys can keep watching the PokéRundown. I’ll be in the kitchen. No more drinks for either of you.”

They frowned simultaneously but continued focusing on whatever Myra and Philip were doing on TV. Olivia settled on her chair in the table, picking up where she left off in the newest chapter of her favorite shōjo manga.

A few minutes later, ‘Regional Professor Kukui’ cut her from her own little world to the television. Myra and Philip were running wildly towards Kukui, who stopped and turned around with his ever-so-charming smile. Without any greeting or warning, Philip asked who the blond man with his wife and herself was. Kukui, in full Alolan grace and charm, answered simply – his best friend. Unfortunately (or fortunately, Olivia never found out), he had to ask an even simpler question. Why?

That was when Giritina’s spirit broke loose in her apartment and through the screen. Philip told him second by second what happened, reenacting the whole thing with Myra as Molayne, causing Kukui to bust out laughing hard enough to warrant a seat on the concrete.

“What the fuck, Kukui! That was _not_ how it happened!”

Burnet laughed, “It totally was! Admit it, you think the Masked Royal is hot!”

With unnecessary emphasis on every word, Molayne shot back, “He is not.”

“Oh please,” Burnet rolled her eyes, “I’m a married woman who has a total crush on him. It’s okay to think he’s hot.”

“I’m not having this conversation right now unless…”

Their attention was turned back to the screen as Kukui, through laughs, was telling the media about his best friend. None of it was bad, as far as Olivia knew, but she could tell Molayne was not having any of it.

“Fuck you, Kukui.”

Burnet jumped from her seat, “You can’t fuck him! Kukui is my husband!”

“I didn’t mean it that way! Why would I want to anyways?” he asked, visibly cringing.

“Cause he’s sweet, smart, undeniably hot, loves pokémon, smart – “

Molayne slammed his fists to his thighs, “WE DON’T FIND THE SAME PEOPLE HOT _BURNET_!”

“YOU HAVE SHITTY TASTE _MOLAYNE_!”

“I DO NOT, _BURNET_!”

All Olivia could do was mutter how they were something else when they were drunk underneath her breath. Somehow, Molayne managed to turn off the TV, mummering loudly that his ears were starting to sting while Burnet was crying, shouting to the ceiling that today was the best day ever.

She deserved a diamond for dealing with this. No one could tell her otherwise.

Eventually, she heard Kukui open the door with her spare key, causing another rile of ruckus in her living room. Burnet was hiding in front of the couch with Molayne, trying to convince him there was a robber in the house and they needed a super badass plan to kick said robber’s ass.

She knew better than to intervene with logic. Kukui made it up the stairs before they knew it, and before he could finish saying ‘alola’, he was being tugged into a ridiculously passionate kiss with Burnet.

_I guess seduction is always a good Plan B if the robber is your hubby._

Kukui pried Burnet off him, laughing and petting her hair as she babbled on about what happened. He looked at Olivia in the eye before throwing her spare keys at her. She caught it perfectly, feeling the sting on her hand, leaving it on the table before heading to Molayne.

“You alive?”

“No,” he said, staring into the nothingness.

“Go lay on your futon,” she said as she helped him lay down, “Would you like water?”

“Do you have sanity?”

She laughed, “Can’t say I do. It’s hard to come by and expensive. Still. You’re getting water and so is Burnet…hey Kukui!”

He looked up while comforting a crying Burnet, “Yeah?”

“Do you mind helping me set up the sofa bed before she knocks out?”

“Sure thing…I haven’t seen her this drunk since our wedding,” he looked over at Molayne, “How are you holding up, cousin?”

Molayne took a moment before answering, “I want to strangle you until something happens.”

Olivia didn’t bother hiding her grin, “Still salty about the news thing?”

“YES!”

“Those news people sure made it look like you were all over the Masked Royal,” Kukui teased.

Molayne sat up, “Oh yes, tell me about it. All I want to do is just ꟷ ”

“MOLAYNE!” Olivia and Kukui shouted simultaneously

Shouting his name somehow made him deflate, she wasn’t going to question why or how, settling for the small wave of relief of stopping him before he started his rampage of whatever he did.

Kukui and Olivia managed to keep Burnet and Molayne at bay while they moved the sofa bed perpendicular to hers, just so he could keep an eye out. While he set the bedding, she went over to the kitchen to pour everyone a glass of water to put near their bed. When everything and everyone was settled, she flicked the lights out, threw herself in bed, and reveled in the oh-so-sweet peace of the night.  

A few minutes passed, Olivia inching closer to sleep using Burnet’s soft sniffles and the fan as ambience.

“Honey, I can’t do this anymore,” Burnet turned on her phone flashlight, earning groans from everyone.

Kukui, at least, had the grace not to throw his blanket over his face like she did, “What’s wrong?”

“This!” Burnet took a deep breath, “I can’t let Molayne go his whole life without knowing how it’s like sleeping with the Masked Royal. You have to sleep with him for me. You’re the closest thing to him, and since you’re bi and all, I’m all for whatever being bi is about.”

Awkward silence fell amongst the sober.

“Honey. I’m not bi. You’re bi.”

Olivia snickered, removing her head from precious blankets, laughing the moment she saw Burnet dragging Molayne over to the sofa bed. He was cursing loudly, or trying to curse, it was slurred beyond recognition, yelping every time Burnet dropped him on the floor. When she got to the edge of the sofa bed, Kukui flopped over to help her get him up. Once they tucked him in like a Rockruff, Kukui sighed a chuckle.

“I’ll be with Olivia tonight. I need female emotional support.”

_Thank Arceus there’s space in my bed,_ “Don’t worry Kukui. I’ll take care of her.”

She scooted over, giving Burnet room to face plant into the mattress. Her eyes drifted to Kukui, who didn’t seem to mind Molayne’s presence, even wrapping an arm around him.

“So…” Molayne lazily started, “When’s the last time we slept together?”

“Uh…we were eight,” Kukui gazed at the ceiling, “yeah, we were eight. In Hala’s house, I believe.”

Molayne only hummed in agreement, leaving Olivia to look around elsewhere. To her left, Burnet was fast asleep in the most awkward position possible. Her eyes drifted back to the ceiling before her eyelids surrendered to rest.

But before sleep took over, she reminded herself to take a picture.

 

_Glasses._

It was the first word that popped into his mind along with a pounding headache, followed by a way too casual, _‘oh shit’._

Beside him was some tanned and maybe toned guy (he could sort of make out the shape of his biceps) whose face he couldn’t possibly make out to save his life. Usually not his type, but hey, no complaining, getting laid is great and all, except for the fact he had no idea where he was and how he got there.

Fortunately, he had his mental mandatory checklist of facts to check before going into total ‘I-need-to-run-and-never-come-back-but-sneakily’ mode. Boxers? Check. Shirt? Check. Anything hurt? Debatable? Debatable?

_Alright. Now what about Mr. Stranger over here?_ With his remaining bravery, he gently tugged down the blanket to make sure Mr. Stranger was wearing something that remotely looked like boxers.

“Oh, that’s a boob, sorry Olivia. Ugh, my back, you have one hell of a firm mattress, girl…wait. Why are you sleeping with Kukui?”

_…_

“Oh, thank Arceus!” Molayne threw his head in his hands, releasing a sigh of relief, until he heard Kukui laughing.

“You were awake!?”

Kukui passed him his glasses, “Olivia told me to stay quiet unless I wanted a certain picture to be sent to everyone.”

“Certain…picture?”

“You two were so cute, cuddling and all that I _had_ to take a pic,” Olivia chirped, “Anyway, should I caption this ‘Transformation Thursday’? Just in case?”

With his glasses on, he could finally see (and confirm) that Kukui was next to him stretching while Burnet and Olivia were sitting up on the bed, giggling at the fated picture.  

“Yeah, the kahuna finally has blackmail on me,” Kukui looked over to Burnet, “As for your question, honey, you told me last night I was bi…and you wanted Molayne to sleep with me because he wasn’t going to sleep with the Masked Royal.”

While Burnet was busy losing it and making her way back to Kukui, Molayne went over to his futon. He checked his notifications disinterestedly as memories from the Battle Royal Dome slowly hit him like a speeding Ride Tauros. After quick deliberation, he sent a text to his coworker, letting him know that he wouldn’t be at the Observatory until noon. Within seconds, a mass of messages from various coworkers bombarded his phone full of ‘get well in a few hours’ wishes and newfound joy that everyone finally had something to talk about.

“Do you mind if I stay longer, Olivia?” Molayne asked as he finally laid down.

“Not at all! It’s six in the morning for crying out loud. What time are you clocking in?”

“Noon. I’ll leave when you leave.”

“Nice. That’ll be around eight fifty. What about you two lovebirds?”

Kukui yawned, “Burnet already got today off, yeah, so we’ll leave…”

“Same time as everyone else? We can get breakfast on the way,” Burnet said as she tucked herself in.

“Sounds good. Now go back to sleep. I have the alarm ready at eight twenty. Oh, and before I forget, Molayne.”

He turned his head over, “Hm?”

“Good luck explaining everything to Sophocles.”

Molayne groaned as the others laughed, the face of his cousin smiling now burned in his mind. Yes, he loved him with everything he had, but he was most certainly _not_ ready to explain yesterday. Instead of figuring out how to approach the inevitable, he faceplanted onto his pillow, falling back to sweet sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! It’s me Lizzy, and before I go on, I’d like to say thanks! Thanks for clicking on this story and making it to the end. You can leave a kudos, comment/critique, and/or good vibes (maybe bad vibes, I don’t judge) if you’d like. Anything and everything is appreciated.  
> This also took me waaaaaay longer than it should have to complete it, but I did it anyway! Before going on, I’d like to thank gomooink once again for letting me do this along with my sister for letting me take pictures of Olivia’s house on her 3DS and beta reading. As for this chapter, writing in Olivia’s perspective was both easy and hard. I am definitely the mostly sober mom friend, but even Jesus knows I am not half as fun as she is. Also, writing drunk Burnet and Molayne? I don’t know how I came with up that, but perhaps the universe knows.
> 
> gomooink on social media  
> [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/gomooink/?hl=en)  
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/gomooink)  
> [Tumblr](http://gomooink.tumblr.com/)  
> [Original Art](http://gomooink.tumblr.com/post/167865685446/thanks-usum-for-adding-more-fuel-to-my-ship)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! It’s me Lizzy, and before I go on, I’d like to say thanks! Thanks for clicking on this story and making it to the end. You can leave a kudos, comment/critique, and/or good vibes (maybe bad vibes, I don’t judge) if you’d like. Anything and everything is appreciated. 
> 
> This too me waaaaaay longer than it should have to complete it. Nonetheless, I am happy with how this chapter turned out. I wanted to keep as much canon material as possible while fleshing out their personalities. Also, writing out battles are difficult. Do not recommend. Please roast XD.
> 
> As always, thanks to my sis, Tanya, for reading over this and fact checking me. Another thanks to gomooink for letting me write this, it was a fun challenge.
> 
> Chapter 2, the final chapter, should be out eventually to tie up the loose ends. Below are the links for the original art and where you can find the artist.
> 
> [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/gomooink/?hl=en)   
>  [Twitter](https://twitter.com/gomooink)   
>  [Tumblr](http://gomooink.tumblr.com/)   
>  [The Art That Inspired It All](http://gomooink.tumblr.com/post/167865685446/thanks-usum-for-adding-more-fuel-to-my-ship)


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